Coming in the door about an hour before close is a group that stands out. Non locals they don't have the same scent or walk; its a little stiffer a bit more intense they aren't slumming but this is them dressed down. So the third person in the group is a killer. She is so genetically attractive even Reyna was stopped mid sentence as she went by. She's the 1/3-5 everything that nature just gets right. The look is Neo-bohemian long skirt, beautiful blouse, combo hair, wrapped braided and flowing all at the same time. Graceful like she just breezed by light as air. Several of us all but fall to the floor. So senses regained I'm back at the bar checking in with Reyna. The original 2 guys have finally fitted their single up next to her, as I approach they try to block off no worries I just go through all clear so I'm good. So just to ensure our friends kept chatting one wingman says to me "I bet you can't get her number." Now I hate hearing no, I hate being doubted and I'm well sauced at this point. I know that's troll bait I practically engineer that line on many a wing person. So me being brilliant I take the bet. I watch the group it's an odd configuration. 3 women and 4 men but not a single one is showing interest in each other (or it's the booze and I have tunnel vision for the woman).
After a couple of minutes of watching I jump in. Ignoring the most attractive woman I'd seen in months and just making a fool of myself. The positive is that everyone at the table is engaged with me. I have her friends laughing yet it's not complete one person is extremely defensive. After 5 minutes of putting her off and being a positive jester. I turn to this creature and just lay it out on the table. "You're the most attractive woman I've seen in ages and I can't for the life of me place your heritage." Her friends tense a bit but are still enjoying the show. The girl to her left jumps at me with a cold and serious "This is my girlfriend." As I said I wasn't here to break people up. So I look this women in the eye and quietly turn to the creature and say "Really?" Now this beauty is holding me with her hazel/jade eyes and porcelain skin. She refuses to break eye contact and just holds me there quietly for what feels like eternity.
So about six beats go by, seconds, nothing, a life time, that moment at the beginning of 2001 where the music grows but you're shrinking. I know now I had lost at that moment. I was only getting this moment to play in her world. I break the beat tell a joke we all laugh. Now she is my only focus. Every question every line is directed at her. Her friends respond for her ask me questions toss jokes but nothing no break. I'm not getting that moment back. I wish them a good night and walk away.
Back at the bar le wingman says "I told you so." I laugh and tell him. "I'm no where near done." I cycle through the bar have a drink and use the head. Now here it gets a little twisted. Between the drunken conversations and men falling about in the restroom; I politely but definitively move some people aside. (come on when you gotta go, jackasses with apocalyptic contingency plans trying to out do each other is not what you want to hear. Stream and beam people, use, wash, run.)
Back to check on Reyna and she's doing well the guys are laughing at me an having a grand time. We all chat and then someone says those magical words that happen every now and then "hot tub". So here's my "in" as long as this woman is in sight the challenge is still on.
Now I'm cooking with gas.
As I turn back someone grabs my shoulder. It’s a guy from the restroom, he says “Me and my friends don’t like you.” “That’s pleasant but I am kind of busy.” “I’m gonna kick your ass...” Finally I turn and to him and calmly say “OK, great go wait over there. I will be with you in a minute.”. His friends call him over and much to his displeasure drag him away.
I turn back to this woman and get down on one knee and propose no joke. Down on one knee on the pavement 2 am on a Sunday morning. I get no response so I drop to both knees looking like a disheveled Benny Hill begging for forgiveness and then I ask a second time although in Spanish. In English proposals are simple and kind of flowering. I don’t know but to me some things sound better in other languages and some shit is just sexy as all hell in Spanish. So for point of reference and accuracy I said and I quote “Me aras el gran honor de ser mi esposa?” At this point I notice her friends are recording it on their cell phones. (Yes, there is video of this somewhere and hopefully every phone broke before it could be uploaded to something else.) The shock the fun is all around and this beauty says quietly “No puedo, pero te chupare el bon bon.” I howled at the response and in Spanish no less it was a great laugh and we hugged traded info.
Very shortly her friends and her “Girlfriend” started leaving and dragging her off into the ether. As I look around Reyna and her friends are just stunned. We collect ourselves and head over to the hot tub. Finally relaxing I turn to the friend and say well don’t let it be said that I won’t go the extra mile. A few hours later so about 4 am I get a FB approval from this woman and what do I do? I jump up giddy as a kid I peruse her page and guess what. Yeah, that was her girlfriend. No regrets I bet they had the best make up sex later.
Moral of this story I get excitable when I drink and when you see it act a fool no one really matters any way as long you are safe aren’t a danger to yourself or others.
PS Oh yeah we followed through on the hot tub it lead to some amazing fun for Reyna and why I am a golden wing man? I kept everyone entertained and too boot I had the presence of mind, to check in and be aware of needs. :) yup I am.
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