Nothing, or better no similar thing I've found rakes me over coals (hot, flaming, horrid coals) like uncertainty. Not knowing what something is will destroy me. I can accept many things and I can change or work towards infinite goals but when I'm left to dry alone. I die. What anyone would wish upon their enemies, the suffering, the agony. It is all here in my mind. No amount of physical pain compares to what slow grinding wheels reside in me.
I constantly quote "Pain is a requirement, suffering it's optional." so yes, I'm in pain. Yes, I am suffering. I am choosing it. I am actively hurting myself. I know better I can help myself and here I am. Is it pride? Is it... I'm still here still awake and those nagging, unending, sea of thoughts are reflecting things like a fun house mirror.
Some place is a harbour and I will find a light. The question will my pride drown me?
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